Memories

I have a lot of memories. You probably have a lot of memories as well. My wife probably thinks my memory should be better than what it is. I’m sure that my mom had the same issues years ago. One funny thing about memories is that they usually aren’t very accurate. Research has also shown that they change over time.

Anyway, I got memories. I have a lot of good memories. Each birth of my children. My wedding is a good memory.  I have some good memories of high school athletics. My hw and I went to Mexico a couple of years ago, I have a lot of good memories from that trip. I have good memories hanging out with my best friend from high school, Todd. I can remember my first date with the hw and each of our homes. I have good memories that involve my mom and my dad and my brother and sister. All good memories.

Of course, I also have some memories that aren’t so good. I can remember being chased home from elementary school by a big, mean kid. I can remember a girlfriend saying “leave me alone”. Well, she might not have said those exact words, but pretty much. My dad died way too early. My father-in-law has also died. A couple of my kids have done some pretty stupid things. I’ve wrecked cars. I’ve hurt people I love. There are more. A lot more.

I’m sure you have good memories and bad memories as well. Some of you may have memories that are way more substantially worse than mine. Divorce, kids with diseases, family members killed in war, car wrecks. I know of so many people that have had really bad experiences and have a tough time forgetting the memories. Many times I’ve heard people say something to the effect of “I wish I could forget that memory.”

Well, be careful what you wish for. I recently read an article in Wired about memories and the possibility of forgetting specific memories. I get the magazine, but I think you can read the article online at http://www.wired.com/magazine/2012/02/ff_forgettingpill/all/1. The general premise is that there are brain compounds that help the brain remember and in certain circumstances scientists may be able to recreate these compounds in order to enable us to forget. I suggest you read the article, it’s thought provoking and well written.

While I was reading the article I found myself thinking about the possibility of being able to forget. I have to preface my thoughts on this with the fact that I have never found myself destabilized or debilitated by memories. I think God and his grace that my personality is not such that I dwell on the past. That said I don’t think that I would partake in the taking of a pill to forget memories that I don’t like. Those memories are a part of who I am. Those memories are a key part in how and why I make decisions today. I remember and I learn. I have learned because I have those experiences. I learned through my dad dying. I learned through watching my mom hurt through that time. I have learned how to help other parents of struggling teens because my teen struggled.

So, for me, I think the right answer is to remember. Remembering makes me the man I am. I have learned through my stupidity and I think I am better for having and keeping those experiences. Even the bad ones.